The Road to Good Intentions
“I’m going to take my son out for practice and bring his younger brother along too. That way, they both learn at the same time—so efficient, right?”
“We went out driving with my partner, and within five minutes, we had pulled over to the side of the road, shouting at each other. I ended up walking home, and we didn’t speak for three days.”
“I took my son out to practice driving. I’ve never been in a car crash, but when we took that corner too fast and nearly collided head-on with another car, I was terrified. I think he needs more time with you.”
“Oh yeah, I’ve already driven on the highway at 80 and 100 km/h because my dad said we should just go for it.”
Core Beliefs and Misconceptions
Many people bring strong core beliefs into teaching new drivers, often without realizing it. One of the biggest misconceptions is that driving is easy. Many think, “My son and daughter are smart; they can pick this up quickly.” They believe pushing their children into high-traffic situations will make them better drivers. The reality is, that this approach ignores the fact that young drivers, especially young males, are the highest-risk group. Car crashes are the leading cause of death among teens and young adults. This is a sobering reality we must face too often ignored.
Remember this: the number one issue a new driver faces that can get them into trouble is joining the party. Everything is great, you are doing well, I think you got this, you are following the flow and it looks like you are doing what we all think you should do. But then comes the party…. the biggest struggle a new driver faces statistically shown to be WEAK!
What Can You Expect from a Practice Person?
A practice person gives you the time and space to learn, which is exactly what a new driver needs. They allow you to repeat actions, which helps build muscle memory and confidence. However, these gifts often come with discomfort. Practice people might think, “Hurry up, you’re driving too slow,” or “This is so boring.” But they need to remember they are experienced drivers who have done 500,000 right-hand turns, while a new driver may have only done 20. It’s important to let the new driver learn at their own pace, not the pace of the practice person. Consider allowing them to make 1,000 right turns before benchmarking them against your skills. Better yet, listen to their needs without imposing higher expectations.
How to Protect Your Practice Person
Your practice person doesn’t have control over the vehicle’s brakes, gas, or steering and is seated on the far right side of the car. Yet, they’re expected to help you manage the vehicle. To protect them, plan your practice routes carefully. Ensure they are comfortable driving to and from these areas. Remember 3 right turns equal a left. If you enter a complex area, turning right can typically get you back to the calm area. If you feel ready to tackle new terrain, make sure your practice person agrees with your comfort level, or a smarter strategy is to go with a driving instructor dual control car first. Avoid pushing into new situations that could lead to trouble—no one wins in those scenarios. The best approach is to hold back rather than push forward with a 2,000 kg steel car.
How to Give Your Practice Person Control
Cars vary, but here are some strategies to help your practice person support you:
- Hazard Lights: Allowing your practice person to activate the hazard lights at any time is perfectly fine. It signals to other drivers, especially those behind you, that the driver is new and learning. When combined with the ‘L’ sign, it provides a great defence against the pressure to “go faster.” Yelling “GO FASTER” is not helpful and can create a dangerous mindset for a new driver. Many of my clients who practiced with others before coming to me often believe they need to drive faster to avoid frustrating traffic behind them. This leads to new drivers going beyond their skill level and comfort zone, teaching them to ignore their need for calm and control. This is not a healthy mindset for a driver to develop. Signalling right, engaging your brake lights and gently sliding to the right side of the roadway will encourage rear traffic to blast past you. Also, a panic from rear traffic may indicate the chosen environment is too stressful.
- Voice Commands: Practice responding to commands like “Brake” and “Gas” to build familiarity. Repeat this while parked, even 10 times, so that both of you are in sync and your foot moves to the correct pedal with each command. This is teamwork ok. This way, they can gently help control the car with you if necessary.
- Parking Brake: If there’s a parking brake between the seats, practice using it gently with the lock pin depressed. It provides a way for the practice person to help slow the car if needed.
- Shifting to Neutral: If you press the gas hard, your practice person can shift the car to neutral to stop acceleration. The momentum will still carry the car forward, but the acceleration will be cut off. Applying the parking brake with this can further slow the car. Be cautious if trying this with a new button-style parking brake, as it might cause a sudden stop.
- Shared Steering: Allow the practice person to place their hand on the bottom of the steering wheel to help guide you if needed. Practice this regularly to ensure smooth cooperation. When I teach, I often lock the steering straight if the driver panics—because keeping the car straight is the most predictable path and helps prevent the driver from yanking the wheel aggressively.
- Avoid Tailgating: Always maintain a safe distance from other vehicles to minimize risk. The further away the better. Don’t JoIn THe Party.
- Stay In Preplanned Areas: Map out a zone where one can repeat at their own pace with little social pressure from other road users. “Oh you are doing great – so let’s go out on the main road!” is a classic practice person statement. “OK, you are driving very well but I wish you would go much faster!” Neither of these are good things to say to a new driver. Eventually yes, but who’s standard are you following when you push them? Theirs as they learn, or the norm of society? Let them walk before they are comfortable to run.
Understanding the Reality of Driving Proficiency
ICBC recommends a minimum of 60 hours of driving before you attempt a Class 7 driving test. This gets you to the entry door of driving, allowing you to drive alone. But what does it take to move beyond this entry-level to reach a point where you truly know what you’re doing, can understand the space around you, and control the car accurately in all situations?
Achieving this level of proficiency can take years, possibly even a decade if you are 100% aware and actively learning at every step. For young males, I recommend being especially careful up to the age of 25 and maintaining a vigilant approach beyond that. Most people learn to drive through trial and error, but given the potential damage that can result from these errors, it’s not an ideal method. Unfortunately, it’s how our society norm to expect family to be good drivers, period even without justification.
Our brains are complex, and overconfidence is a natural part of our development. However, overconfidence in driving is dangerous. Additionally, there are powerful groupthink pressures that encourages conforming to risky behaviours, like tailgating, which can be disastrous in certain situations.
This driving game is unlike any other learning environment I’ve experienced. Driving is a highly complex task, yet it’s often labelled as easy, which baffles me. Even more baffling is the notion that good drivers are those who emulate F1 or TT racers—individuals who have broken nearly every major bone in their bodies. Go figure!
In Closing
I know society pushes us to always move forward, to always improve compared to the previous effort. But driving a 2,000 kg steel box at high speeds is serious business—it’s not just about progress; it’s about safety and comfort of the CPU. The consequences of rushing are too great to ignore, as they involve potential harm to oneself and others with significant legal, financial, and emotional repercussions.
The greatest gift I can offer all drivers is the value of gentle, safe repetition. This approach allows for deep, calm, confident control to develop over time. I recognize the pressures we all face—deadlines, financial constraints, job requirements—that can influence the timeline for learning to drive. However, it’s crucial to remember that driving is a skill that demands constant vigilance and growth every time you get behind the wheel. If you’re not improving each time you drive, you’re likely regressing.
Driving is both a deeply enjoyable and unique skill, but the risk is always there—even when you think you’ve mastered it. Please stay alert, stay aware, and above all, stay safe out there.
Todd Cooper
Instilling a Seriousness for Driving
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